f covid

I don't know where to even begin.

How long has it been since you step outside and enjoy life?

I honestly couldn't remember. I have fear of going outside. Fear that Covid will get to me and my family. March 2020 was 1 year and 6 months ago and we are 4 months away from 2022. Our current political situation is not helping either with unclear strategies from the government and half-baked policy to curb the pandemic. I couldn't see myself living with covid without fear of dying. Until someone better is taking over the government, I will not let my guard down. Do you know we have 3 different prime minister since the last general election? Yeah i know, ridiculous. 

But how long are we going to live in fear and not leading the new normal? People have been preaching left and right to co-exist with the virus but how do I? 

Apart from the state of my country that is a shit show, my life is more or less the same. I'm also a mess. Adulting has turned me colder, pathetic and I have absolutely no clear conscience of what I want to do with my life. At least I have clearer goals (what I want to achieve) once my degree ended. Now I'm 26, with a job but still a complete mess. My goal was to find a good job and now I have one, so what? What do I do next?

One thing I'm sure of is that nobody has prepared me for the cruel reality of the working world. In fact, I think I was not prepared for the fact that having a job is gonna take everything away from me, little by little (my insanity for the most part). Try working from home during pandemic and deal with deadlines, one after another. I work in Big 4 and deadline is a big part of the working culture here. As our work is based on statutory deadlines, the busy season depends on how much workload we have at one specific period. After going through my first peak season, I feel like I never really had an off-peak. It almost felt like I have been on a very long peak period since the first MCO.  

Seriously tired of everything. Lowkey

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