Hello bye

Can't believe the last time I wrote something here was in October 2019.

Lil update:

I started working right after final exam (3 weeks or so after), so it's been around 6 months? Life as a working adult is going ok I guess. Figuring life and sorting out priorities have been quite a struggle (will always be). I don't know if I am doing well at work, but I would rate myself 65%. Work is challenging in a sense that I still don't know a lot of stuff, means I need to continuously study and study. Pursuing knowledge is a never ending journey, but in my field, it's a must or you're way behind your colleague. Entahlah, to be quite frank, I'm not sure how long I will stay in this firm. Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing well compared to others.

Here's to hoping that I will be better at work and continue to improve myself. I want to be better.

Aside from that, I'm really happy with what I have right now. Being financially independent feels amazing. I don't need to rely on my parents anymore and it's the other way now :) Praying that I will be showered with more rezeki so I can share more.

Anyway, I'm sure you're very much aware of thing that is going on in the world as of now. I hope you're doing well and ok. Please stay at home ?

Take care

The ode to my undergraduate life: Bidding goodbye to everything and in between:

I have roughly 16 days before my final exam ever.

Truth is, my mind went blank for a while when I decided to continue the sentence above. I don’t know what to expect. How to feel once everything comes to an end. Like everything has come full circle. Most of my INTEC batch mates have graduated. Those studying at local uni like me (read: red boat) just had their convocation and more to come. It’s funny to think that 4 years ago, we were all depressed as fuck. No one accepted the fate being thrown in front of their eyes. Most just swallow the bitter pills and pretending to move on, crying to sleep, EVERY DAY. Those are the days when I asked everyone around with the same fate as mine. Quite sad to be fucking honest. Some of them deserved more. But this failure, in a way made us stronger.

Everyone is so successful like it’s MAD how desperation, anger and depression bring out a whole new spirit out of a person. Will to change supersedes everything and that is more than anything we ever need right now, to feel ALIVE and DESERVING of all the happiness and success. I don’t know why I keep bringing up my Alevels story. 2/3 of my blog post, since I left INTEC, was mostly about my regrets and how If I had done more, things would have been better. No matter how much I make peace with myself, I get even more enraged. Things get even worse when the financial issue was brought to the table couple up with few other things. Because to me personally, that failure hits my financial the most. Maybe we get into this story sometime in the future.

My fellow readers, I have been offered a full-time position at one of the Big 4 where I went for my internship last year. Fingers crossed, the starting of my full-time adult life will be a fun time although I doubt it will ever be fun but we shall see. I cannot wait to finally buy stuff for my parents, treat my family for a monthly dinner date. So happy at the thought of that and I am making a to-do list, how much money I should save every month hehe (exciting time! πŸ˜‡πŸ’˜) and etcetera. 

Anyway, for the last few paragraphs, I wanna write down my gratitude for the blessing that comes in the form of my classmates at Unisel. I may not be able to have a hell of a fun time if it were not for them. It’s kind of sad that I stop talking to a few of them last semester due to many personal issues. Emotions got into me and everyone, hence rush decisions were made. Thank you, you guys were also a big part of my degree life, we spent 3 years' time together. But fate takes us to a different path, it is sad we parted ways on different notes. For the rest of the gang, yall are with me to the last sprint, we made it. I hope we continue making plans in the future, keeping this friendship forever. CRG reunion perhaps? Wishing you all the best

My future plan right now is probably to continue my professional exam and take master (if i have time). The rest I leave it to the Almighty, He knows what's best.

Thank you for tuning in to my journey since high school. Perhaps I will take you to different journey of my life, something that is even more exciting. Till then you guys.