19 May 2018

I wake up everyday to a new Malaysia

`0th May 2018

I am actually out of words to say how grateful I am at the moment.

Prior to 9th May, heck even on 9th May, I wasn't optimistic that PH could win the election. The possibility is really thin because they controlled everything. Media, our freedom of speech on social media, Anti-Fake news bill, EC (maybe) and the list goes on. They were analyst projecting that BN would win #GE14 again, albeit with a small majority. Only Invoke survey projecting that PH would concur, but at that time it sounds overly optimistic given the advantages BN had at that time. After all, they have governed Malaysia for decades (ever since our independence) obviously they had resources on their hand to win the election.

I go on twitter over and over again how PH had no chance of winning. I exchanges tweet with other users sharing the same sentiment. Everyone agreed, hopes shouldn't be high, but silently, we gave in. To put it easy, every Malaysia who voted for PH desperately want a change from this corrupt government.

On the night of 8th May, I was eager to go out and vote for change. It's my first time, of course, I am thrilled. It's my duty as a citizen. And I fucking love my country and I desperately wanted a better Malaysia.

Come the night of 9th May, before the EC announced the official results, I still have no hope of PH winning. The announcement began with results from Sarawak. BN is leading. I told myself "see, no hope?" but PH is fast. The number is almost equal. It's unprecedented winning in some parliamentary seats in Sarawak. Marginal seats won by PH, some got double the majority as compared with GE 13.

"Holy shit!" I said that words so many times that night. I also tweeted that I'm going to curse a lot. Because that's what I always do when I get excited or angry. But that time, it was more exciting than I am furious. Unofficial results showed that PH coalition party is leading, both from Awani and Twitter. But Twitter was faster, my timeline has never been that fast. I can't stop scrolling.

By 10 pm, we have yet to get full results. It seems like EC was delaying the process. But I tried my best to be positive, probably because of higher turnout, they need more time to count. They are rumours flying around Twitter that recounting had taken place in some seats. We don't how true are the rumours btw.

By 12 am or maybe earlier than that, it begins to rain heavily, lightning struck which caused my wifi disconnected. It happens every time when it rains which sucks. This is an important night, more important than anything else, and I need wifi. 20 minutes without wifi, I missed out so many things already, that is how fast twitter that night. People basically stuck on their phone, people actually bother about politics

Everyone is exhausted already come the morning. Official results have yet to come, but we knew PH is leading and the smell of freedom is in the air. The panelist on Awani has begun to change their tune. Wind of change is being blown swiftly, Karim Ruslan throws the first punch to EC and BN. And that my friend how freedom of media started.

EC started to announce official results every 30 minutes after 2 am, my eyes starting to feel heavy. Dr.M also made a press conference to announce thay they have won enough seats to form a government with simple majority. But I don't want to give in just yet, I must know the fate of my mother nation. Elani whatsapp me asking me to update her the results because she needs to study and she can't focus haha. State after state begin to shift from BN to PH. We know that time we already won. By 4 I went to my room, I had not shower for a day. I scrolled twitter for another 40 minutes and fall asleep waking up to a new government ❤ Best day of 2018

Truth is, I still can't believe Malaysian can achieve this unity to push a kleptocratic government. I wake up every day now with Najib no longer in power and that is probably the best thing that happens in 2018 so far. This itself deserve another blog post.❤👪❤

Cheers to a new beginning 💢

28 March 2018

You are your own carrie pilby

I have test 1 tomorrow for Advanced Financial Accounting subject. But this post couldn’t be postponed any later. I have this rush of ideas coming out as soon as the movie ended while I was eating Maggi Asam Laksa comfortably, the movie kinda hits home. And I would like to dedicate this movie to all my friends, and to anyone who is currently struggling. This post is for you.

Carrie Pilby is a girl with high IQ level, graduated Harvard at the age of 18. Introvert, live in her own cocoon, pretty much a loner. Her mom died when she was 12 years old, her father decided to sent her to college at the age of 14. She practically spent her teenage life as an undergraduate, alone with no friends at all. However, the movie doesn’t focus on her undergraduate journey but what she did with her life soon after that.

The reason why I really love this movie so much because how relatable it is to many of us. Majority of my acquaintances are going through hard times shifting life from being a student to starting a career. That’s quite an uncomfortable process. You are just about to finish study, but now in a rush to find an employment. The expectation and probability that you might not land any job anytime soon will put anyone under pressure.

Although in the movie Carrie Pilby does not in any way struggling to find an employment, rather she was forced to let go of her status quo. Being outside of her comfort zone such as making friends, starting a career, find a soulmate just so that she can find happiness again. OF course, this was a result of her inability to let go certain attachment. She is a bitter person, doesn’t believe in so many things, doesn’t think happiness exist. To conclude, Carrie Pilby has her own set of liberated mind. In the end, she makes peace with herself. She begins to cross things off her list, she started to let things loose a little, she stops being hard with herself.

This post read like a review and ultimate spoiler of the movie but I don’t think many of you would end up watching it after this. As I said above, this movie hits home to many of us who are currently struggling. Carrie Pilby struggles so so much, it was hard for her to let go of many things, let along to step out of her comfort zone. But the fact that she muster all her courage to find happiness and meaning of life, she become unstoppable.

You can do this too my friend. We all are capable of so many things. Find that courage, be brave and bold. Get out. Try new things. A process is a process, it will eventually pass. Struggle is a struggle, but don’t get caught in it, you will only losing opportunities. Find solutions and only then you will be happy with the results. Because after all, you are your own Carrie Pilby.

2 February 2018

Nothing but the best for myself in 2018

Disclaimer: This was written a few days before 2017 ends.

Believe it or not, I couldn't remember much what happened in 2017. There were major events happening, but the rest of my year went by pretty flat. Writing this post to conclude my year seems redundant as it may be similar details I have spilt in previous posts on my blog.

In 2017, I let my guards down, I make friends with new people. From not belonging to any social group, I finally identified myself in one and I am very happy for that. I have issues, too many and honestly, they were my weaknesses. And to finally tick it off from the list makes me really happy. I don't make friends with just anyone. I go solo everywhere I go, I do things on my own, and I never like to put on a different facade. I am one, and I'll always be the person you knew.  To my new social clique, thank you for craziness you guys put me through. I really enjoyed our daily conversations and I hope we get to do this everyday event when we went separate ways after we graduate, I hope we continue to stay connected. Gosh, the technology exists!

To FFL, 2017 is not our year. Please know that you guys will remain as my favourite bunch. We may not see each other very often anymore, but please keep in touch! 

To my intec friends, especially my favourite girls, it's been wonderful year having you guys one video call away.

2018 will be the year which I get out of my comfort. Life will get busier after this, my internship is in June, so I need to work on my soft skills and improve my CGPA. I made a crazy decision last month. to join a society. I was scared I'll not be able to secure placement for internship due to my under-participation in curricular activities. I was appointed as Team Leader for Multimedia department of Accounting Club. I'll do a lot of designing every-thing-creative for my club! Finally, something where I can channel the creative side of me.

I want to take up a part-time job as well. But I don't know if my parents would agree because they are scared if I couldn't keep up with my studies.

2 Feb 2018

I am on my semester break right now. My exam sucks. All subjects are crazy difficult. Please at least give me a pass. I really want A for all subjects, but I know that is way too ambitious for me.

Also, 2018, work harder. Focus in class. Never miss any assignments or tutorials. Always make notes. One thing I figured, this semester, I don't make notes for my reading subject. Just because I think I can get away just with writing simple notes on my powerpoint slides. How fucking stupid you can be Aimi?

Like ya'll been saying on twitter, January is a trial month. It's February, get yourselves together and slay 2018.

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